(I spent 10 minutes trying to think of a title for this blog and came up dry, so I just chose one of the best pieces of advice I have.  Which also ended up being fitting for the blog.)

The hour at the gym yesterday went well.  I warmed up on the treadmill, did a quick circuit of light weightlifting, then punched the freestanding padded doo-hickey they have (the boxing room is there, but none of the new equipment is installed yet).  It was a fun easy hour and I felt great afterwards, reminding me again why I like going to the gym.

But I’ll tell you what….going to the gym at 2 in the afternoon is the absolute best time to go.  I’ve used many gyms over my lifetime and 2pm is definitely the least crowded time of day anywhere.  I almost had the whole huge place to myself.

You may notice that I changed the banner and colors for my blog here.  I enjoy doing that (graphic design, web design, etc), but I swear, Xanga doesn’t make it easy to change.  There are some things I like about the new ‘theme remix’ controls, but some of it simply isn’t intuitive or obvious to me and gives me fits.  Like the difference between margins and padding.  Like whether a thing is the thing or the content of the thing.  They need tutorials or something.  I had the damnedest time trying to move the links on the banner where I wanted them, and I still don’t know exactly what changed to make them end up there.  But anyway, it’s done.

Today, I’m taking the metro into DC and visiting the new Crime and Punishment Museum.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Except for still tight calves, I have recovered from my AT attempt on Sunday.

Also, today is the 3rd day on Weight Watchers and so far it’s going great.  No compulsions to eat.  I do get hungry, but that’s ok.  A person is supposed to feel hungry, at least a little, between meals.  I haven’t been tempted to stray off plan yet, but I have a new strategy for when that happens:  I’ll remember how completely wiped I was after 3 uphill miles on the AT.  Don’t want that to happen again?  Then you have to lose that extra baggage.  Duh.

Also today, for the first time, I’ll be going to the Powerhouse Gym this afternoon which finally opened back in May while I was getting busy with all my summer hiking and camping.  I’m strap my boxing gloves on and punch whatever they have to punch.  I was told they would have a whole fancy boxing area, so we’ll see.

Also, I’ve contacted a nearby Tae Kwon Do school to find out about taking lessons.

Also, I’m painting and making art again instead of only writing in my journal, so that’s been fun.  I’ll post pictures soon.

I had a wonderful talk with my middle daughter last night.  She’d read my blog and was concerned about me.  She was very supportive and said that she too would like to hike part of the trail.  So now the two of us have a goal:  to get into better aerobic condition to be able to master the trail together.

I feel ok today.  My calves are pretty tight and sore.  I slept like a rock and had strange naughty dreams not suitable for public consumption.  I have a lot of sore twinges in all the tiny muscles in my back and ribs, but nothing debilitating.  I was able to come up the stairs without getting dizzy, unlike yesterday.  I dread tomorrow, though, because delayed muscle soreness is often worse the second day.

This has been a strange summer.  I had plans – Iowa, the AT – and so far none of them have come to pass.  Iowa was canceled due to floods, and the AT got canceled…well you know.  The only thing left is the family reunion next month.  Let’s keep our fingers crossed that nothing cancels that.

In the meantime, my plan was that after the AT, I’d take the insights from the book I was reading, “Shrink Yourself,” and be able to get back on Weight Watchers and make some progress there.  So, now that the AT is over, that’s what I’m going to do. 

Here are a couple photos from yesterday.

Me at the trailhead.

One of the 3 deer I saw.

Yeah, I’m back at home sooner than expected.  Way sooner.

I greatly underestimated the size of the dragon. 

After 3 miles of uphill hiking, up a hill that never ended, I thought I was having a heart attack.  Even after several half hour rests, I couldn’t walk 10-20 steps without my heart rate skyrocketing, my chest getting tight, my blood pressure throbbing through my head, skipping beats, nausea, dizziness…. I kept stopping and leaning against trees, catching my breath, going another 10 or so steps to the next tree, leaning, feeling like my head was going to explode.

Not only was the dragon way freakin’ bigger than expected, but my pack, with equipment, food, and water, weighed an unwieldly 50 lbs, at least.  So I actually hiked 3 miles uphill with 50 lbs on my back, in addition to my own extra built-in baggage.

I really thought I was going to keel over.  And I was barely halfway to my first planned campsite.  I couldn’t do it.  I tried to stick it out, but I couldn’t do it.

I took a side trail downhill and out to a road, managed to walk another mile down the road until I could get cell phone reception, and had my husband come retrieve me.  That was 5 hours ago and I’m still shaky.

I’m disappointed, but I learned a lot.  For one thing, I can’t carry that much weight.  I’ll have to figure out what to cut back.  Like, maybe only carry a couple days worth of food instead of the whole weeks worth.  Secondly, I’ll have to wait until I lose some of my own extra baggage.  Third, I have to be in better aerobic shape, too.

I just wasn’t up to it this time.  Sorry guys.

I’ll try again.  In a while.  Someday.  When I’m more ready.

In about 12 hours (yes, at 5-6 tomorrow morning), I’ll begin my long awaited AT hike.  On the way here to the hotel in Stephen’s City, we stopped and found the trailhead where my husband will be dropping me off in the morning. 

Although for the last week or so I haven’t been terribly excited about it, after seeing the trailhead and getting here I am starting to get excited and look forward to it again.  It will be challenging – that’s part of why I want to do it – but it will also be… I don’t know the word for what I’m trying to say.  Something like character-building, or enlightening, or inspiring…maybe just…something I can be proud of myself for? 

Anyway, next time you hear from me, I will have finished my trek.  I’m going to take lots of photos and write in a journal every day, and if everything works out, I might even put a book together at the end of my journey.  But even if that doesn’t happen, I’m sure I’ll have something to share with you.

Wish me luck.  See you again in a week.

According to the extended weather forecast on Weather.com, except for a slight chance of rain of Sunday, my entire hike next week should be clear and dry and seasonably warm.  If that holds up, it will be great and make it just that much easier.

* * * * *

As for the book I recommended yesterday, which I still recommend for anyone struggling with emotional eating issues, it has been pointed out to me that losing weight is a simple matter of eating fewer calories than one burns.

That’s pretty much true and I know it.  Off the top of my head, I can tell you the calorie count of nearly everything in my kitchen.  I can tell you the average number of calories most common exercises burns, too.  My issues don’t stem from a lack of knowledge of nutrition, exercise, and physiology.  And that’s true of most adult fat people, from what I understand.  We know more about food than most ‘normal’ weight people.  That’s because we tend to be fat and food obsessed, whereas naturally thin people don’t bother to learn that stuff because they don’t ‘need to know.’

Emotional eating is a whole different issue.  Emotional eating (aka food addiction) is when eating has become a unconscious compulsion to eat comfort foods without regards to physiological need.  It’s driven by psychological issues – much like other addictions – and it’s complicated by the fact that over time the body grows accustomed to…
    1) consuming large amounts of food and continually expects large quantities to fill it’s stretched stomach and counteract the insulin it pre-emptively releases, so that it’s actually painful to eat less, and
    2) reaching for comfort food as a response to negative emotions while the emotion is still at an unconscious impulse, before it has risen to the conscious level (you did know that something like 90% of your brain activity was unconscious, didn’t you?), therefore not only preventing you from feeling the emotion but preventing you from even being aware that the emotion was triggered, which makes it all the more difficult to control, catch, or counter.

Kinda like a mosquito bite – you don’t even know you’re bitten until after it’s over.

Anyway, any event, relationship, or circumstance that has the ability to trigger negative feelings has the potential of being an issue around which a person can develop addiction or food issues.  The book helps the reader narrow down exactly which issues are her trigger, which aspects of her life she needs to change, and what ‘normal’ behavior is as a marker for comparison.

Despite having read many books on the topic before, I’ve learned a lot about myself reading this book and I expect to be able to take another giant step forward in my relationship to myself and to food because of it.

* * * * *

And now for something completely different… OMG!  I’m glad they’ve finally cleared the Ramsey family in the case of poor JonBenet, who was murdered in 1996.  But OMG that poor family.  And Patsy died without ever any peace of mind about what happened to her daughter.  It’s all so sad.

It’s going to be rainy all day today here in Northern Virginia.  I’ll probably have to play taxi driver this afternoon, but other than that I’ll be home, reading, writing, and contemplating.  I usually don’t like the rain, but today I don’t mind it.  It fits my pensive mood.

If you deal with food and weight issues, I highly recommend this book.  I just got it yesterday and started reading it this morning – already I’m 1/3 of the way through and it’s made a huge difference in my understanding.

I will hit the trail in only 6 more days.  I have all my equipment and food together, but I’ll do a sanity check at the end of the week: I’ll have my husband read off my supply checklist while I repack my backpack to make sure I don’t accidentally overlook anything.  Plus I have to pack a bag he’ll bring me at the end of the trip with clean clothes and bubble bath.  (We’ll spend a night in a hotel room with a jacuzzi before driving home.)

This week, I will get a haircut so I have less of a mop on my head to be hot and sweaty.  I think that’s the only last minute sort of thing there is left to do.

I’ll be doing 50 miles in 7 days.  This averages a fraction over 7 miles a day.  I’m not concerned with being able to cover that distance, and I know it’s relatively short compared to what some people hike daily when on these sorts of trips. 

I’m not concerned about getting physically attacked by bears or other scoundrels.  The only thing I’m really concerned about is bears (or other scoundrels) stealing my food at night.  It’s required that a hiker hangs her food in a tree each night, about 100 yards from where she sleeps.  There’s a set method for doing this that I won’t bore you with.

But I don’t like the idea of being separated from my stuff by 100 yards where anything could happen to it.  I’m concerned about being able to find it again in the morning.  I’m concerned about it going missing.

It’s not a ‘how will I survive’ issue – after all, although it would be unhappying, I know I can go a few days without food.  It’s more of a security blanket thing.  I’ll be 100 yards away from (some of) my belongings.  In a strange place.  And what if I can’t find again the tree where I hung my food bag?  How will I know whether it was stolen (by a bear or other scoundrel) or whether I just can’t find it?

My plan currently is to use my GPS to mark the spot where I hang the food so I can find it again in the morning.  Still, until I actually have success at re-locating my provisions, I’ll have that niggling doubt that I may lose them.  And have to endure the unhappy circumstances.

But other than that small worry, I’m looking forward to being a wandering hermit for a week.

I’ve decided that instead of 100 miles in 2 weeks, I’m going to hike 50 miles in 1 week.  I’ll be tramping the first half of the original 2 week plan.  I can always go back and do the second half of the original plan at a later time, if I survive and enjoy the first experience.

I’ve got my route programmed into my gps, so there will be no guessing about distance or where I’d planned to sleep each night.