Thank you to everyone who complimented my butterfly painting and my latest video. 

When I paint now, I’m not concerned with trying to capture the details of the photograph.  If someone wants a photograph of, say, a butterfly, I can just show them the photo.  Now when I paint, instead of driving myself nuts with trying to be technically perfect or photorealistic, I’m painting how I feel about the subject.  Trying to capture what it is about the subject that has meaning for me.

Of course, I have to keep in mind some technical issues – how this pigment mixes with that pigment, color issues, perspective, shading, shape, etc.

But with that butterfly, for example…what struck me about the real life butterfly was how the black shifted to light blue on the lower half of the wings, the line of spots and their color shift, and the touches of white along the edges of the wings.  In the photo, those touches are barely there, but in my mind, they stood out vividly, so when painting it, I painted what I ‘felt’ – that the touches were larger than they actually were.

I just wanted to talk about all that because I actually haven’t painted for a while and I’d been thinking about what changed.  Why did the butterfly turn out so well when in the past painting had been so much of a struggle that I stopped for a while… and that was the answer that bubbled up from my nether-brain.  Because I wasn’t painting to my teacher’s style or techniques, that I painted in a way that made sense to me and focusing on the aspects of the picture that had meaning for me.

Finding my own style, in other words, I think that would be called.

Still not finished, but here’s what it looks like now.

This is the reference photo.  It’s a Spicebush Swallowtail Butterfly.

This is the ‘first draft’ – the underpainting on which I tested shades of blues and greens and shapes and proportions.

This is the painting as it sits now.  It’s not finished yet, obviously, but I’m happier with the colors.

(I spent 10 minutes trying to think of a title for this blog and came up dry, so I just chose one of the best pieces of advice I have.  Which also ended up being fitting for the blog.)

The hour at the gym yesterday went well.  I warmed up on the treadmill, did a quick circuit of light weightlifting, then punched the freestanding padded doo-hickey they have (the boxing room is there, but none of the new equipment is installed yet).  It was a fun easy hour and I felt great afterwards, reminding me again why I like going to the gym.

But I’ll tell you what….going to the gym at 2 in the afternoon is the absolute best time to go.  I’ve used many gyms over my lifetime and 2pm is definitely the least crowded time of day anywhere.  I almost had the whole huge place to myself.

You may notice that I changed the banner and colors for my blog here.  I enjoy doing that (graphic design, web design, etc), but I swear, Xanga doesn’t make it easy to change.  There are some things I like about the new ‘theme remix’ controls, but some of it simply isn’t intuitive or obvious to me and gives me fits.  Like the difference between margins and padding.  Like whether a thing is the thing or the content of the thing.  They need tutorials or something.  I had the damnedest time trying to move the links on the banner where I wanted them, and I still don’t know exactly what changed to make them end up there.  But anyway, it’s done.

Today, I’m taking the metro into DC and visiting the new Crime and Punishment Museum.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Except for still tight calves, I have recovered from my AT attempt on Sunday.

Also, today is the 3rd day on Weight Watchers and so far it’s going great.  No compulsions to eat.  I do get hungry, but that’s ok.  A person is supposed to feel hungry, at least a little, between meals.  I haven’t been tempted to stray off plan yet, but I have a new strategy for when that happens:  I’ll remember how completely wiped I was after 3 uphill miles on the AT.  Don’t want that to happen again?  Then you have to lose that extra baggage.  Duh.

Also today, for the first time, I’ll be going to the Powerhouse Gym this afternoon which finally opened back in May while I was getting busy with all my summer hiking and camping.  I’m strap my boxing gloves on and punch whatever they have to punch.  I was told they would have a whole fancy boxing area, so we’ll see.

Also, I’ve contacted a nearby Tae Kwon Do school to find out about taking lessons.

Also, I’m painting and making art again instead of only writing in my journal, so that’s been fun.  I’ll post pictures soon.

I had a wonderful talk with my middle daughter last night.  She’d read my blog and was concerned about me.  She was very supportive and said that she too would like to hike part of the trail.  So now the two of us have a goal:  to get into better aerobic condition to be able to master the trail together.

I feel ok today.  My calves are pretty tight and sore.  I slept like a rock and had strange naughty dreams not suitable for public consumption.  I have a lot of sore twinges in all the tiny muscles in my back and ribs, but nothing debilitating.  I was able to come up the stairs without getting dizzy, unlike yesterday.  I dread tomorrow, though, because delayed muscle soreness is often worse the second day.

This has been a strange summer.  I had plans – Iowa, the AT – and so far none of them have come to pass.  Iowa was canceled due to floods, and the AT got canceled…well you know.  The only thing left is the family reunion next month.  Let’s keep our fingers crossed that nothing cancels that.

In the meantime, my plan was that after the AT, I’d take the insights from the book I was reading, “Shrink Yourself,” and be able to get back on Weight Watchers and make some progress there.  So, now that the AT is over, that’s what I’m going to do. 

Here are a couple photos from yesterday.

Me at the trailhead.

One of the 3 deer I saw.

Yeah, I’m back at home sooner than expected.  Way sooner.

I greatly underestimated the size of the dragon. 

After 3 miles of uphill hiking, up a hill that never ended, I thought I was having a heart attack.  Even after several half hour rests, I couldn’t walk 10-20 steps without my heart rate skyrocketing, my chest getting tight, my blood pressure throbbing through my head, skipping beats, nausea, dizziness…. I kept stopping and leaning against trees, catching my breath, going another 10 or so steps to the next tree, leaning, feeling like my head was going to explode.

Not only was the dragon way freakin’ bigger than expected, but my pack, with equipment, food, and water, weighed an unwieldly 50 lbs, at least.  So I actually hiked 3 miles uphill with 50 lbs on my back, in addition to my own extra built-in baggage.

I really thought I was going to keel over.  And I was barely halfway to my first planned campsite.  I couldn’t do it.  I tried to stick it out, but I couldn’t do it.

I took a side trail downhill and out to a road, managed to walk another mile down the road until I could get cell phone reception, and had my husband come retrieve me.  That was 5 hours ago and I’m still shaky.

I’m disappointed, but I learned a lot.  For one thing, I can’t carry that much weight.  I’ll have to figure out what to cut back.  Like, maybe only carry a couple days worth of food instead of the whole weeks worth.  Secondly, I’ll have to wait until I lose some of my own extra baggage.  Third, I have to be in better aerobic shape, too.

I just wasn’t up to it this time.  Sorry guys.

I’ll try again.  In a while.  Someday.  When I’m more ready.

In about 12 hours (yes, at 5-6 tomorrow morning), I’ll begin my long awaited AT hike.  On the way here to the hotel in Stephen’s City, we stopped and found the trailhead where my husband will be dropping me off in the morning. 

Although for the last week or so I haven’t been terribly excited about it, after seeing the trailhead and getting here I am starting to get excited and look forward to it again.  It will be challenging – that’s part of why I want to do it – but it will also be… I don’t know the word for what I’m trying to say.  Something like character-building, or enlightening, or inspiring…maybe just…something I can be proud of myself for? 

Anyway, next time you hear from me, I will have finished my trek.  I’m going to take lots of photos and write in a journal every day, and if everything works out, I might even put a book together at the end of my journey.  But even if that doesn’t happen, I’m sure I’ll have something to share with you.

Wish me luck.  See you again in a week.