Hiking and birding, esp when combined with taking pictures of birds, butterflies, dragonflies, skinks, squirrels, deer, and other wildlife.

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My least favorite activity is gardening.  It’s one of those outer rings of hell.  But I do like flowers and they’re pretty and they attract birds and butterflies to my yard.  So most summers I at least get a potted plant for the deck.  This year, I went hogwild and put two potted plants on the deck and another few out by the bird feeders.  It looks nice.

Remember that beautiful dog I posted photos of a day or two ago?  Isn’t she innocent and sweet looking?  Well, she is sweet.  But that dog will eat anything.  She has chewed up a wooden rake handle, a large plastic saucer used for a bird bath, empty garbage bags, electrical cords (while plugged in), cardboard boxes… you name it.

And apparently she has a fondness for petunias.  Just now, for the third time, she had the poor petunias dumped over and was about to tear into the root ball of the biggest plant when I caught her.  (I didn’t catch her doing it the first two times, only had to clean up the aftermath.)  I scolded her, then repotted the plant.  It had just begun to recover from the last attack of the puppy.  I hope it rebounds.

Meanwhile, Baby is once again in the dog house. 

There are so many…. but I think the one I pick isn’t actually a movie, though it is sort of a mini-movie.

“I’m not like other boys.”

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This was Baby back in Oct 2007.

This is Baby today.

I’ve only been out of bed for 20 minutes.  Already I’ve seen a deer out along the back fence and a wren hopped up on my foot while I was sitting on the deck.  Then from up the street, there was a loudspeaker – as if from a police or firefighter vehicle? – sounding as if someone was giving instructions to others.

I don’t know… does this bode good or ill for the rest of the day?

I had two appointments for today, but both now have been canceled.  Instead, I’m going to see if I can get my hair cut.  And maybe buy a new bicycle. 

This week, I’m going to be getting ready for our camping trip to Kiptopeke State Park next weekend.  Over memeorial day weekend we broke out all the gear and made sure it was in working order, even sleeping in the tent in the back yard Saturday night.

Also on Saturday, we finally rented a truck and hauled a bunch of junk from the basement to the dump.  So the basement has to be swept out and sorted and organized further. 

Sunday, Husband and me went flying (he’s a pilot) down to Shenandoah and back.  Then yesterday, we had a big cook out, with bbq ribs, sausages, potato salad, and cupcakes.

It was a good busy weekend to kick off a good busy summer. 

I graduated with my BFA in creative writing in 1993 when I was 30 years old, after attending college on and off for 13 years while raising my 3 kids (they were 11, 9, and 6 when I finished).  15 years have gone by since then; the kids are mostly grown and 2 also have college degrees while the 3rd is still in progress. 

For at least the last 10 years of those 15 years, I’ve been debating with myself – moving 2 steps toward and 3 steps back over and over – whether or not I wanted to go back to get a Master’s degree in anything, and if so what?  An MFA?  An MA?  English?  History?  Philosophy?  Library Science?  To be a teacher?  To be a librarian? 

Several things stopped me.  First, until my husband retired from the Air Force in 2003, there was the whole possibility we’d be moving again.  Then my kids were all getting started in college.  Plus I had depression and anxiety issues I needed to deal with that were seriously holding me back from doing anything.  Plus, I still had trouble narrowing in on what I wanted to study or what profession I wanted to pursue.  Or if I even wanted to give up my routine of staying home, writing, and art-ing in order to have a grown-up career.

There were other, more tangible, obstacles too.  Money is no small issue – college is expensive and we’ve got 3 kids going too.  And after all that time being out of school, it seemed insurmountable to obtain the 2 or 3 academic letters of recommendation needed to even apply to a graduate program.

But there are disadvantages to staying home, just as there are disadvantages to having a job, just as there are advantages to both. 

I had my 45th birthday yesterday.  It’s quite credible that I have another 50 years to live.  Do I really want to sit at home the rest of that time, not having any academic contacts, not having the stimulation of new ideas, with no others to talk to about the things that interest me?  Or would it be a nice change to have a life?

Like I said the other day, this is my real life.  There’s nothing I need to wait for for my real life to begin… my real life is right now.  It’s happening.  It’s choo-chooing by and I need to get on the train rather than keep waiting at the station for my ship to come in.

(I love mixed metaphors.)

So, the only way to get the academic letters of recommendation is to take a few literature classes as a non-degree student, impress them with my wisdom, make friends and influence people.  Once I do that, I can apply to the MA in Literature program. 

My middle daughter asked me yesterday what I hoped to accomplish in my 45th year.  I didn’t really have a concrete answer for her.  I hope to hike part of the Appalachian Trail in July, but even that is iffy – I’m not sure I want to splurge on the ultralight gear necessary to walk 100 miles with everything I need on my back.

But aside from that, I think the real answer of what I want to do accomplish in my 45th year is to set the foundation for having a career and a real life for the next 50 years.  That means jumping through all the hoops necessary to get the MA, then teaching English, Writing, and Literature part- or full-time at the community college level. 

I think my next blog will be about why literature is fascinating, important, and worthy of study, but I’m done for now.  Have a great Memorial Day weekend.

So much effort, time, and sacrifice
goes into a single reward
so small by comparison
no wonder people give up
which makes it all the more important
that the effort itself becomes the reward
the journey becomes the destination
and the time and sacrifice become painless
prices paid to enjoy to experience

Yesterday, I was starting to feel overwhelmed, so I sat down and made up a list of all the projects and ideas and tasks my brain has generated in the last week that I’d like to do.  Usually seeing all that written down puts them in perspective and allows me to tackle them one at a time and be productive.

It didn’t help, though – the list was wildly long and out of control and kept growing.  No shortage of ideas and projects in progress here.

One thing I did decide, though, is that I’m tired of spinning my wheels and chickening out, putting off anything resembling ‘real life’ until some nebulous future.  Right now is my real life – it doesn’t start when I lose weight or move to San Antonio or whatever else may happen… or may not happen.

So I decided to apply to grad school to finally get my MA in Literature.  That will allow me to teach at high school or community college level and give me the connections and groundwork needed to go on to a PhD if I want later on.  If I’m accepted and everything goes smoothly, I’ll start in January 2009.

So starting all that paperwork is on the list of things to do.  Along with continuing to build a Filemaker database to track my bird observations, working on a couple of projects for WASH,  several handmade book ideas, getting ready for upcoming camping trips, cleaning out the basement, various other studying and writing ideas…

See?  The list never ends.

We survived yesterday, with the help of our daughter’s best friend, and didn’t even get rained on.  A few sprinkles, but the weatherguys really got that forecast wrong.  Luckily for us.

I’d like to share a few “Words of Wisdom” from the Cornerstone, a publication put out by the GMU College of Humanities and Social Sciences, from which my daughter graduated.  These are snippets of advice written by the faculty of the school.

“Our friends agree to listen to us complain, and in turn we listen to them.  Yet complaining is a very weak form of communication.  It focuses on the past and doesn’t build anything.  Eliminate most of your complaining and get on with what really matters to you.”  -Andrew Finn, Communication.

“Develop a purpose, pursue it with passion, and let nothing stand in your way.  Education merely opens your eyes so you can see clearer than before; now you must do the hard work and find one.” -Patrick McKnight, Psychology.

“Choose the career that makes you happy rather than the one that satisfies other’s people’s expectations.  Twenty years from now, they will have forgotten and you’ll be happy.”  -Mills Kelly, History and Art History.

“Whatever you do when you’re not doing your work is your real work.” – Roger Lathbury, England.

“Don’t give up.  When Plan A doesn’t work, move on to Plan B.  It’s not a coincidence that we have 26 letters in the English Alphabet.” -Don Gallehr, English.

There were more, but those were the ones that impressed me the most.

My real work this week will be to get things straight around the house again and get back to routine.  Also, I have to clean out the basement utility room and inventory our camping gear in preparation for upcoming camping trips.  And try to coordinate everyone’s trips and calendars for this summer.

I can already see I’ll need a second cup of coffee.

What began as a glorious week last Sunday is ending on a bit of a sour note today.

Thursday was our oldest daughter’s college graduation, which was wonderful and we’re very proud of her accomplishment.  Then Friday, I got an early morning phone call from her saying she’d broken her foot and could I take her to the doctor.  So we go to the emergency room and sit there for 6 hours and end up with her foot in a fiberglass splint, but no definitive answer about whether the foot is actually broken or not.  Then yesterday, the day was entirely given over to the picnic/bbq that the graduate had requested, with family, friends, and in-law-family in attendance.

Which was actually nice.  I’m not really one for having people over, or really being with people much at all, but it was a nice gathering, the food was good (thanks to my husband, the bbq king, who did all of the cooking), and the weather was warm and sunny.

But my week doesn’t end there.  Despite our many requests that she get her dorm room packed and moved home in pieces over the month prior to… well, today…. so that we wouldn’t be trying to get it all done at the last minute in one big awful move (as it has usually happened)…. between her procrastination and her broken foot, almost nothing in her dorm room has been packed and nothing has been moved home yet. 

She is supposed to be checked out of the dorm by noon today.  And there’s an 80% chance of it raining cats and dogs living together.

And I woke up too early this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I have stress.  I have missed exercise most of the last week and haven’t done any writing, art, or birding.  The house is a mess.  Everything is askew.  My world is akilter. 

I expect to end today with a hot bubble bath and an Ambien.  But that’s at least 15 hours from now and there are miles to go before I can soak and sleep.  Wish me luck.

After 4 days and over 4 inches of rain, we’ve got flooding here in parts of Northern Virginia, with sink holes sucking down roads and homes here and there.  And last week we had a minor earthquake.  And there was another earthquake recently in Indiana.

Wildfires in Florida and Colorado.

Hurricanes across the middle of the country, through Arkansas, Oklahoma and more.

Tremendously huge earthquake in China.

Hurricane Katrina.  The tsunami in Indonesia not long ago.

These are just the big ones that have stuck in my mind – I’m sure there are many more natural disasters in the last couple years, spread all over the USA and all over the world.

If I didn’t know better….  I’d say Mother Nature was pissed off.