March 17, 2008

• Fun with Zombies

  I never did get to the gym to beat up the rubber dummy yesterday.  In the morning, I was working on a few creative projects and got carried away and let time slip by.  In the afternoon, I attended the WASH meeting.  I'm their webmaster, so I am sort of obligated to attend the meetings to  take a few photos and write up a synopsis for the website.  Then in the evening, we went out to Fuddruckers to celebrate my son's engagement to his long-time girlfriend. 

  By the time all that was over, it was after dark and I was beat.  I checked my email and went to bed.

  Today when I go to the gym, it'll be for weightlifting with my trainer.  Boxing drills will have to wait until tomorrow.  Dammit.

  It has been suggested that my focusing on anger, my deep-down liberating rage, might not be the best thing for my mental health.  On the contrary, I think being in touch with my anger is a step toward mental health.    Ignoring when I've been wronged or hurt, suppressing my angry and hurt because showing it might upset someone else, those are the actions that kept me oppressed for too long under a blanket of helplessness, hopelessness, and depression.

  I've also recently relearned that being in touch with my anger, that burning energy at my core, is what allows me to stop self-censoring and write the books that I want to write and make the art I want to create, all which  comes from that deep churning lava pit that some who believe in such things might call my soul. 

  Of course, those people might also believe I've given my soul over to the devil.  But this is America, where people have the right to be as stupid as they want to be.

  William Gass said, "I write because I hate.  A lot.  Hard. ... I wish to make my hatred acceptable because my hatred is much of me, if not the best part."

  Me too.  And if you can relate to this, you may want to join my new blogring:
  Angry Writers Unite!

  And when I forget my anger, when I ignore it, when I repress it.... I become the living dead.
  Dead woman walking.
  Dead woman lifting weights.
  Dead woman blogging.  Or trying to.

  And the living dead... well, zombies... whether living dead or dead dead... they just don't have much fun, do they?

  • 10:45 am
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