March 16, 2008
-
Talking With My Hands
What do I want to blog about today?
I feel like the more appropriate question is: What am I allowed to blog about today? Whenever I arrive for a blogging session, I feel censored. My husband, my best friend, my children, and a few of my other relatives read this stuff at least once in a while. I’m not talking only to strangers here. I have to be careful what I say, what I complain about, what I express. I have to utilize tact and diplomacy and all that other bullshit. It’s easier to keep quiet.
People love to talk to me. Strangers, as well as friends and relatives. The strangers are the strangest – the person next to me in line, beside me on a bus, milling about in a crowd – they just open their mouths, start chatting, and next thing you know I have their entire life story. While all I’ve done is nod my head pleasantly at them and wonder when the hell they’re going to shut up and why are they telling me all this anyway.
Oh, yes, I’m a great listener. I’m the kind of listener who keeps her own mouth shut. But the reason I’m not responding IS NOT because I am so completely enthralled by the other person’s story that I’m dumbstruck. I don’t respond because I’ve learned that other people aren’t good listeners; they don’t want help or advice; they aren’t interested in what my experience has been; no matter what I say to them in return, they will say I’m wrong somehow; or they’ll simply not hear it and go on with their own agenda regardless. So what’s the point?
It’s easier to keep quiet.
Today is a boxing drills day. I need to beat someone up very badly. I’ll do my talking with padded fists, thank you very much.
Comments (3)
I completely relate to what you are saying here, although I am somewhat more fortunate in having a more removed audience… I have censored myself for years though.
We good listeners have to have SOME place to vent though, don’t we?
Maybe you don’t have to censor as much as you think. You ARE loved and not blindly. Your friend knows you and knows that you have opinions and viewpoints that may not always mesh with hers. (Of course not everyone may be so wonderful and open minded as your friend.)
First, since you are reading a book about Boudica: http://www.haleyelizabethgarwood.com/ I met her this weekend at Omega Con and she has written a historically researched fiction book based on her. Her philosophy is “writing women back into history” and I haven’t read anything yet but I am looking forward to! You may find her interesting.
Ah! I wish you could be my fencing partner. You’d be mad fun!
It is hard about people who randomly babble their life’s story on a whim. Like one of my friends. They’re not talking to hear what you have to say. They’re just spewing TMI and you never are considered to get a word in edgewise. It’s tiring!